Lucky Now was thrown into peaceful confusion this morning after reports confirmed that the Ganja Guru — local legend, robe-wearing wanderer, and unofficial Minister of Mellow — has escaped on yet another unsupervised adventure.
According to witnesses, the Guru was last seen strolling down Main Street with no shoes, a herbal staff, and a serene expression described by one resident as:
“Like he just tasted enlightenment… and maybe a bit of mango gummies.”
Sources claim the chaos began when Fern from Fine Flower & Snacks asked the Guru to “watch the shop for five minutes.”
He nodded wisely, said “Time is a circle,” and immediately wandered off.
Authorities say the Guru’s path can be tracked by following:
- A trail of half-eaten infused cookies
- People sitting on sidewalks having deep conversations about toaster settings
- Random pockets of Zen-like quiet where no Zen should be
One eyewitness reported:
“He walked past me, tapped his staff on the ground, and suddenly I understood my taxes. It was… upsetting.”
Another said:
“He blessed my vape and told me my aura was ‘crispy but fixable.’ I don’t know what it means but I feel great.”
The town is now on what officials are calling a “mellow-mode search alert.”
Residents are encouraged not to chase the Guru, as he “moves unpredictably and is likely to distract you with life advice you didn’t ask for but deeply needed.”
At press time, the Ganja Guru had been spotted:
- Teaching a yoga class to two pigeons
- Meditating in the frozen food aisle
- Asking a lamp post for directions
- Announcing to a passing bus that it was “traveling its truth”
Fern issued a public statement:
“If anyone sees him, please let me know.
Also, ask him to bring back my staff. And my snacks.”
The mayor has declared the situation “under control” and encouraged the public to remain calm, hydrated, and open to unexpected wisdom.
More updates as the story develops — or whenever the Guru circles back from wherever the universe takes him next.